Endings
by Star582
Summary: Tris wants to save the world and take Earth back but unfortunately the puppet masters of her universe have only given her three color-coded choices...unless something changes...


**Endings**

The transport jerked and bounced as its pilot maneuvered through the hail of missiles and airborne debris in search of a landing zone. Tris Shepard stood behind him grimly clutching at the strap above her and her teeth clenched as she struggled to maintain her balance. Peering over Cortez's shoulder, she saw a snowflurry of dots and triangles dancing across the shuttle's data screens, many winking out suddenly. As more and more dots disappeared her chest tightened and she felt sick for she knew what it meant. _More lives lost. _As she watched, a particularly bright splotch of light flashed across the screen. A growl rose in her throat and she clenched her lower lip between her teeth to hold the sound back. _Shit! Another ship gone. _Her thoughts went to her own shuttle weaving and dodging to avoid being hit by the large beams of energy emanating from the enemy ships around them. _THIS team is going to make it. We're going to fight and we're going to live. _She repeated the thoughts in her head several times in a rather desperate mantra. _I have to believe it or it won't happen._

A sudden jolt slammed Tris against the wall of the shuttle as it abruptly swerved out of the path of the bright beam coming towards them. Cortez worked frantically, his hands dancing across the flight navigation screens in front of him. "Dammit that was close!" He pulled down a few more screens and then gestured, "That's where Anderson wanted to meet you. Looks like the fight's getting hotter there. I don't think I can get you any closer than a couple of klicks."

Somehow she'd known he what he was going to say before the words came out of his mouth. "Just set us down as close as you can," Tris replied calmly. Even though she couldn't exactly remember all of it in detail, it had still been had been a long three and a half years fighting an enemy no one except a select few even believed existed, at least until they'd attacked in force. She was tired of looking for allies, of last ditch mediation of old disputes, of fighting. At the same time, she knew beyond doubt that it was something she did well; it was her _job_ for fuck's sake and she was grimly determined to see her job through to the end.

Cortez nodded, his eyes never leaving the screens in front of him and the jouncing movement of the shuttle growing stronger as it began to descend towards the war-torn rubble that had once been London. Tris shifted her weight, balancing carefully as she made her way back to her team, her eyes softening as at the sight of them. _This might be the last time I see them alive. _The thought was chilling and she felt her stomach tighten and twist although her facial expression didn't change. Her eyes moved across each face slowly, drinking them in; memorizing them. Kaidan and Garrus looked back at her stoically; seasoned soldiers both of them. Vega leaned back against the seat, the fingers of his right hand drumming rapidly against his knee as if nervous but he smiled confidently as his eyes met hers. "We're gonna kick some Reaper ass now. Right Lola?"

Her eyebrows shot skyward at the nickname. _Lola_? _I thought the last time he called me that I'd made it clear I wasn't amused. _Still, she was certainly used to informality from her crew, particularly under stress and the current situation certainly qualified as stressful. Under the circumstances she let it pass, simply shaking her head even as she grinned at his brash confidence, "You bet we are!"

Her eyes moved on to Liara. Of the group, she seemed to be the only one whose face clearly reflected the anxiety Tris knew they all must be feeling. _Even though she's gotten pretty tough, she's not really a soldier. _Just then the shuttle swerved and Tris stumbled back a couple of steps, banging her head against the wall.

Suddenly she heard Kaidan say, "Wake up Commander!" and glanced over only to see that him busily checking his weapons, his lips pressed together in concentration. She shook her head, puzzled. _Why would Kaidan be telling me to wake up in the middle of a mission anyway? _Her head hurt where it had banged against the shuttle wall._ Maybe I'm hearing things. Maybe I've just had too many hard knocks to the head. _She shook herself, clearing her throat and trying to smile confidently as she looked at them. "Get ready. We're going to have to fight our way to headquarters. It won't be easy but it's certainly something we've done before." Her hands reached back automatically, pulling weapon after weapon forward, checking that they were ready, just as she'd done thousands of times before.

The shuttle bounced as it slowed. Kaidan flung the door open and the group hurriedly jumped out, looking swiftly around for cover as soon as their feet touched the ground. one after the other. The air was thick with dust and ash. Tris looked swiftly around. "Everyone ok?"

They moved forward cautiously, the sound of distant explosions a grim counterpoint to the stillness of the burned out buildings they were approaching. The silence was broken abruptly as fireball whizzed overhead, crashing into the street several meters in front of them, releasing a half dozen, bloodied, plated and multi-eyed monsters and an electrifying jolt of adrenaline shot Tris forward and into cover. The others scattered as well. A few seconds later she saw Kaidan moving ahead, followed by Vega.

_Where the hell are Liara and Garrus? _But there was no time to look for a buzzing noise followed by a shout from Vega caught her attention and she rolled sideways to avoid the explosion that followed.

Leaning out from her hiding place, she took aim, firing on the approaching enemy. Then she saw Liara and her heart jumped into her throat for the asari was running towards the group of cannibals, her hands moving rapidly in front of her only to stumble as debris shifted beneath her. One of the monsters moved forward, its hands reaching for Liara's arm. _Not this time asshole! _Tris raised her weapon only to hear the crack of a sniper rifle coming from behind followed a few seconds later by a splash as the cannibal's head disappeared in a flurry of red pulp.

"Good shot!" she yelled, glancing back towards Garrus. He nodded, his face impassive as he lined up another shot.

"Wake up Commander!" Kaidan's voice penetrated her battle focus. The incongruity of the remark mystified her but she had no time to ponder the anomaly for the enemy was rapidly approaching and her inner soldier took over, ruthlessly squashing down all thoughts other than those of killing to survive. She fought automatically, ducking behind abandoned shelves, barrels, and blocks of fallen concrete for cover as they continued forward, eventually coming to a street lined with military vehicles.

"Looks like we've found headquarters," Kaidan said.

She nodded. "Let's find Anderson and get this over with."

A short time later the company was seated in a Mako as part of a convoy rumbling through the broken streets of London. _I've always been willing to take chances but this seems insane, even to __me__. Driving in a convoy like a sitting duck in order to reach some sort of strange mass effect relay that will transport us to the Citadel which is now magically floating above us._ She shook her head. _Makes no real sense at all. But not much has in the last few years_

Glancing across the aisle her eyes met Kaidan's. They had said their actual goodbyes at the compound, their lips meeting urgently in a kiss that both knew was likely to be their last, uncaring of either staring eyes or military regs. As her eyes now locked with his, her mouth tingled slightly and her heart skipped a beat as she once again felt the pressure of his lips against hers and heard him say _I can't lose you again Tris._

The words echoing her mind triggered another, more enjoyable memory. It was almost as if some part of her knew she needed to hold onto hope and what could be more hopeful than the thought that if she somehow – against all odds – managed to win through to the transport beam and stop the Reapers, _this _could be her reward. _Kaidan_. _Making love to her before….before…._ The vision stuttered momentarily and although she was able to bring it back, there was something about it that seemed odd and almost wishful as if what she was picturing was fantasy rather than memory. She ignored the interruption, concentrating instead on trying once more to feel Kaidan's body pressed to hers, his muscles firm beneath her roaming fingertips and her hands sliding around his neck as she pulled his lips down to hers, her mouth opening slightly to accept his gently probing tongue.

A series of explosions followed by a flash of heat and light brought her back to reality as the world dissolved around her in a red-gold haze of fiery pain, her body flying through the air only to land with a hard crunch on the shattered street. She struggled, trying to get up, to move but her limbs refused to obey her and she realized consciousness was slipping away. _Need to reach the Citadel… Need to reach…_ She blinked rapidly trying to clear the blurriness but her sight was dimming rapidly. _I feel so very tired. _As her eyes closed in defeat, she caught a flash of familiar blue armor lying on the ground just ahead of her. _Kaidan…_It was her last thought as the world faded into blissful, black silence.

"Commander, wake up!" A welcome and very familiar voice pierced the darkness pressing down on her and Tris opened her eyes, struggling to breathe in what seemed like a very narrow and confined space. _What happened and where am I? _she wondered, her hands reaching up in the firm darkness until they encountered a smooth curve of metal. _God, I've been buried alive!_ Her heart began to pound in terror as her fingers scrabbled across the even surface above her until something gave way beneath them. She shoved at the metal surface even harder and it creaked open, leaving her in the dim light of a large open room.

"Ah, you're finally awake. I was beginning to worry about you."

Tris sat up, her heart slowing as she turned towards the familiar voice only to stop in confusion as she recognized her surroundings. _I'm in a sleeper pod. __On the SR1_. _The last I remember I was fighting the Reapers on Earth. Did I die then? Still, if I'm dead this must be Heaven because Kaidan's here. _She turned towards him, happiness suffusing her with warmth and a broad smile beginning to form on her lips. Kaidan! I'm so glad we're together!" She reached out only for him to jump back, a look of confusion spreading across his face although his soft brown eyes reflected only a gentle concern.

"Uh Commander? You asked me to wake you when we got close to the Citadel. We're approaching now and Captain Anderson would like to see you."

"_Captain_ Anderson? What are you talking about? He's an admiral now. And what's with this Commander business? What happened to calling me Tris? Or Shepard, since we do seem to be in a somewhat public place." She reached out, this time successfully catching his hand and squeezing it between her own.

Color flooded his cheeks as he gently removed her fingers, staring at her in bewilderment. "I-I don't know what you're talking about Commander.

She pouted. "Still insisting on calling me 'Commander'? Ooo you've gone formal. _Too _formal I think." Smiling mischievously she added, "You're going to pay for calling me that _Major, _but don't worry…I know _just_ the thing to make you squirm_." _She licked her lips suggestively, her smile broadening as his flush deepened.

He stared back at her silently, his expression shifting from embarrassment to concern and finally to knowing amusement. "Boy, you really _did_ take a hit didn't you Commander? To be honest, I don't think we know each other well enough for _that_. And it _is_ against regs, which you may remember when you're feeling better. Now stop it, you're making me blush!"

"Not know you well enough…" Tris replied, staring at him blankly. _And why would you say I'm not feeling well? I feel just fine since I know we made it to the end together!_

"You've been on board what, two weeks? I'm not unwilling…I guess I'm just a need a little more time to process this." His smile grew, "Assuming that's what you want after…after you're more yourself."

Tris stared at the floor puzzled by his words and trying to understand what was happening.

"Now, about the beacon," he began.

"Beacon? What beacon?" she snapped, irritated that heaven wasn't exactly behaving as she'd expected. "What are you talking about?" She sat up only to abruptly drop her head to her knees as the room began to spin around her.

"You really _are_ beginning to worry me, Commander" Kaidan raised his omnitool, waving it back and forth in front of her as he scanned. "Tell me, do you know what day it is or where you are?"

She pulled herself into a sitting position, rubbing at her forehead thoughtfully. _I thought I knew but now I'm confused. According to Kaidan I've only been on board for two weeks…I'm on the SR1…Captain Anderson is in command… _Her face scrunched with the effort of trying to remember. _Fighting through geth – no that wasn't it – fighting something else. _She realized that all she truly remembered were images of battle and chaos before waking up to see Kaidan's concerned face looking down at her. Even now the vision of death and destruction was fading away, replaced by the reality of her surroundings. Finally she looked up at him. "Maybe you _do _need to tell me what's happening."

"You're on the Normandy-SR1 commanded by Captain David Anderson. We were sent to Eden Prime to pick up a Prothean beacon and were attacked by a Spectre named Saren. We met a marine – Ashley Williams – do you remember meeting her? She came back with us to the Normandy."

"Ash!" Tris's face brightened and then fell. "But she's dead…died on…on…." She stopped in confusion at his expression. "I…think _I_ need a little more time to process everything." Her pulse quickened nonetheless and she realized that was very anxious to see her friend.

"Gunnery Sgt. Williams is alive and well ma'am but really, I do think it's time for you to go see Dr. Chakwas. And as to the Council, well we're on our way to report to them. Captain Anderson's orders."

"The Council," she repeated slowly. "But…but…the Reapers…. Earth was nearly destroyed…." She shook her head. It had all been so clear. Her companions – she'd seen them, knew their names; had been with them through thick and thin fighting so many enemies; Cerberus, the Geth, not to mention the giant mechanical cephalopods known as Reapers. She remembered the beacon – it had been on Eden Prime but that was ages ago - or was it?

Her head began to ache harder and she rubbed at it fitfully, trying to clear her jumbled thoughts but it was like trying to re-boot a computer with operating system errors. Nothing made sense. Nothing seemed to fit. Finally, she shrugged, looking up at him. "Maybe you're right. I thought we were in a battle for Earth. It all seemed so _real_, but maybe…" _Could it really have been just a bad dream? Kaidan mentioned a beacon. Am I having visions? _Sighing she said, "Maybe you're right. Maybe that beam _did _hit me harder than I thought. I guess I'd better go see Dr. Chakwas." _If this has been a dream it's a damned confusing one…no real ending to it either…._

Suddenly the knowledge of how her initial words must have sounded to Kaidan - _to Lieutenant Alenko – _struck her and she, in her own turn, flushed a deep red. _Shit! What did I just do? He's a subordinate after all….a very attractive subordinate but a subordinate nonetheless. And he did mention the regs. _"Uh Lieutenant," she began tentatively.

He gave her a reassuring smile, "Yes ma'am?"

"What I said to you before. About us I mean. I'm uh…I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"No worries, Commander. I'm just glad you still alive and I hope you'll be ok." His smile twisted slightly, becoming mischievous. "We'll have to see if you feel the same way once you've recovered and you know, had a chance to get to know me better."

Grinning wryly, Tris pulled herself out of the sleeper pod. "Thanks Alenko. I'll look forward to it." He saluted, still grinning and moved off. She watched as he headed down the short hallway towards his station; her eyes caught by the fluidity of his stride and the contours of his receding back. Her mouth moved up in a dreamy smile as her eyes drifted downwards, lingering on the firm rounded muscles rippling beneath the tight Alliance uniform. _In some ways I'm glad this was some kind of dream. Sure didn't end well if I died, but this….hmmmm. _She eyed Kaidan's backside speculatively._ This is a hopeful sight. And getting to know him better. Well…_Her smiled broadened. _Now __that__ would be a happy ending. _


End file.
